dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
