i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
