And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
