I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
