Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
