Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
