it's like iHOP with fire
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
