i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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