just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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