remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
