I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
