2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
