Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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