oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
