The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize