he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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