Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
