It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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