But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
