Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
