There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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