did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
