Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
