areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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