The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
