i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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