I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
