You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
