Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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