You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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