I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize