the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
