Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
