He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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