do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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