my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
