First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
false alarm, still single
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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