just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
