I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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