32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
