I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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