I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
