she looked like the bat from fern gully.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
