Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
