Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
