You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
