just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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