i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
