my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
