dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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