I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
