I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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