well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
