i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
