Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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