I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
