shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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