So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
