the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize