Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
