also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
