Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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